Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
