The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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