Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
