I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
