Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you had me at cake vodka
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
