dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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