google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
