i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
