what day is it and did you see me today?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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