Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
