I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
