I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
