Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
