I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
