ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
