Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
