I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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