whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
