Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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