i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
