I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
