That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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