you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
