I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
