every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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