I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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