brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
