your room smells of hookers.
And success
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
