Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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