I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
