She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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