Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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