so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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