I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
