ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
