You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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