on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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