3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You ate ashes out of my bong
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
