I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
