Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
