i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize