i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
