Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize