So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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