So drunk its hurt
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
