Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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