i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
