What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
