it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
