I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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