Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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