So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
