I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
