my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize