and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
