i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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