My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
