Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
