We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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