if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
