it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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