Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
