Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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