Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
