when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
