she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
