We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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